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In 2013 my life forever changed.  I learned that my anxiety, anger, and depression all stemmed from an underlying cause of gender dysphoria.  This left me with a very disturbing decision with three choices.  Yes, I choose to transition but, my transition was the better of the three choices I had.  I could do nothing and live with the anger, anxiety, and depression which would have eventually led to suicide as I have been living with this and tried to kill myself a couple of times already. I could start taking drugs that control my mind to combat the depression, anxiety, and anger, which could potential send me down a path of criminal insanity; or I could transition/change my body to match my inner being so that I would no longer suffer from depression, anxiety, and anger.  I chose the healthier longer lasting of the three options that were before me.  From that time on, I have become healthy in body by losing 80lbs and changing my body from an...
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Tea Time with Amaya. E001 Introducing Amaya

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#LoveYo-Self

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#Loveyo-self One can sell you all the fitness gear, nutritional supplements, gym memberships, and trainer sessions in the world and still none of them would help you.   Do you want to know why?   It’s you.   You are the reason all of those things will fail. You are probably saying to yourself, “this chick is an idiot.   She just insulted anyone who reads this.” Do not worry.   It’s not meant as an insult.   It is, meant to wake you up a little bit.   The reason that you are the point of failure is because all of those other things are tools and if you do not have the skills, mentality, dedication, and discipline to use those tools to your advantage how can you effectively achieve successful long term long lasting results.   Results that create a healthy body that can survive and thrive after a surgery, injury, or even emotional trauma (yes, emotions do take a physical toll on the body).   So #LoveYo-Self.. No one can force...
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My First Audition

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My first audition. Auditioning for your very first time can be a very daunting task.    One that brings loads of fear, self-doubt, and ill-conceived expectations.. When I first walked into the theater, I felt a pang of fear tickle the back of my throat.   It was a feeling of being lost, not knowing if I was doing the right thing, if I was prepared.   I had no idea what was going to happen, gulp…hearts beating away, how it was going to work, or if I would even get a chance to read or audition.   Having never auditioned before, I had no idea what was in store.   I knew I wore the expression of fear on my face…total and complete stage fright.   I had no control other than turning around and walking out.   I could not do that.   I felt that I could not walk away.   It was like, the fear was pulling me towards the door, but my curiosity was pulling me toward the theater stage where the auditions were going to take place. ...
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6 Rules for My Life

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The title is a little misleading as I do have more than 6 rules that govern my personal life.  There are also a few golden rules that I use but this post is about the 6 rules that build the hexagonal foundation of my life. These rules are actually very important to me and help me to navigate life, stay out of jail, and stay off the radar of negativity.  They start with one rule we should all follow but I know there are some that falter here just like I have a time or two.   1:  I honor and cherish my parents for without them I would not be the person I am today.  This does not mean I always have to like them.  I just love them and would do anything for them.  This includes elders like grand parents (my guardian), aunts n uncles, any of the people within my family.  You see our parents/elders, for better or for worse, mold us into the person we become when we are adults.  They start us off, and most start us off on a great star...
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Self-imposed Expectations

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We create our own expectations.   Not only for ourselves but for others as well.   Creating expectations for ourselves is what propels us to bigger and better things.   These expectations can lead us to the trap of being over critical and self-judgmental to the point of destroying our inner being.   Instead of being self-destructive over not meeting my own expectations I must practice congratulating myself on the effort, learn from my mistakes that caused the failure and do it again.   It is a fine line that we must walk as individuals. Creating expectations of others can lead us to disappointments.    Disappointments that we do not need in our lives. Let others create expectations of themselves as we create our own expectations.   This will save a lot of stress, heartache, and disappointments. Growing up in a home where there were certain expectations placed on my shoulders and if those expectations were not met there was harsh...
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I am my own Harshest Judge.

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  I am my own harshest judge This entry is about how I, and I am sure many others judge ourselves on a daily basis.   Some like myself may even be guilty or judging ourselves for incidences that are none existent.   Case in point: A couple of evenings ago I was at a volunteer meeting.   This meeting was to discuss an event layout and fill positions with volunteers.   When I got to the meeting location, which was a beautiful park with nice green grass that was a little long but worthy of doing a round of yoga while I waited for others.   This was the first time I had done any type of workout outdoors where anyone can see me.   That is another story. So as I was setting up for yoga, I noticed a great deal of people running around and doing their thing.   I was very apprehensive about doing the yoga as it involved bringing out my laptop for the instructor videos… I had already passed judgement on the people around me.   I had j...
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